Junk Mail et al

I have two pet peeves and the first one is junk mail. Junk mail drives me insane. I get tons of it via snail mail or the internet. It does not matter which way it comes I don't want it! Yesterday I checked my email for the first time in a couple of days and out of the 75 messages I had there were only 5 that meant anything to me. The other 70 were from people trying to solicit me to buy some magic weight loss potion (which I actually could use), or make my male member larger (personally Frank is already taller than me), send money to win millions (what kind of idiot do they think I am?), or scam money from me some other way. It makes me not want to use email. Anytime I respond to an email....ZOW! I have targeted myself to get even more of these trash emails. My snail mail address is no difference. Saturday when I went to the mailbox to collect my mail I had a large amount waiting. One piece was an invitation to a baby shower......the rest....you guessed it....junk. Flyers from every store in town (and in Alex City there are not that many)....to come shop their sales, coupons for fast food places, and other pieces addressed to current resident. Come On...if you don't know my name....don't send me your junk. I have tried returning the trash to the sender....only to get twice as much the next week. I have tried throwing it away, I even burned up a trash shredder due to the incredible bulk of mail I put through it. GRRRRRRR...Junk Mail hell is what I feel like I am in. Get thee behind me satanic pieces of useless trash!

My second pet peeve is forwards....not just any forward....but the ones that say if you don't send this to your 500 best friends God will frown on you....or you will die....or some terrible thing will happen to you. I don't know about you guys....but my God is not going to do something bad to me because I did not send an email on. He has much bigger things to worry about. I got an email last week that was about a little child who had been kidnapped....it was a heart wrenching story....I almost forwarded it ....as it asked....but something said....check it out on Snopes....and BINGO...there it was....an urban legend. Instead of sending it on....I replied to all with the Snopes link. This one bothered me...because at the time of this mysterious girls disappearance....there was a real....flesh and blood....young man missing from a neighboring town. Instead of sending out a false request....requests about him should have been flooding the internet....He really was missing! The internet could be a useful tool for finding kids....if the false requests....would not waste so much time. Sooooo...next time you are going to hit that forward button....with a request for me to send something to everyone in my address book....check Snopes.com to make sure it is not an urgent legend...and if it is....take my name off. Happy Monday! K